Word Study: ψυχή (Gr. Psuché)

Let’s talk about John 10, verses 14-18. It’s talking about the sheep and the shepherd- an extended metaphor for Jesus and us (believers, and people/humans in general). 

I recently got an interlinear bible; it has the New Testament in English and Greek, with a word-to-word translation line-by-line (hence the interlinear), and for the Old Testament it has Hebrew and English. It’s So. awesome.

Let’s take a look at the English of these verses:

 14 I [Jesus] am the good shepherd; I know my sheep [humans, Israelites] and my sheep know me— 

15just as the Father [-God] knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep. 

16 I have other sheep [humans, all nations] that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd. 

17 The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life—only to take it up again. 

18 No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father.” [Emphasis and parenthetical comments added by me]

 As it turns out, the word that NIV translates “life” in Koine Greek is actually the word psuché, [or ψυχή, in its neutered form] which we derive our modern word “psyche” from. According to Strong’s concordance(5590), it means one’s soul, seat of affection and will…. One’s individual identity. in other words, Jesus gives his soul for us. His total identity.

Jesus was God who became man. He came down from his seat next to the throne of the Father-God to become fully God, and fully human person on earth in order that we could be saved through his death and sacrifice on the cross. Did he alter his identity in order to do this? No, because ultimate love is part of God is; his identity as a loving God was merely manifested in his coming down to earth.

But he did not die because puny humans killed him. No, his sacrifice of his will and life were a result of his choice. This choice was empowered by the authority given to him by the Father-God. And he returns to sit at the right hand of the father, but he gave it all up to show us his love. His identity is as the one who loves us enough to give up and sacrifice his will so that we can be saved.

This blows me away. I don’t know about you, but saying “oh yeah, Jesus gave his life for me, but nbd [no big deal] because he’s God anyway” doesn’t have as much strength as “Jesus gave his will, soul, and individual identity, and laid it all down in order to save us sheep.” It is one thing to say you will die for someone. It is another thing to say you will give your entire identity, life, and soul for someone. Especially if those someones are similar enough in attitudes and behavior to be compared to sheep (and all the positive and negative associations that come with that). 

 

 

 

Why Rogue One is a Rebel in the World of Hollywood

For this first time since seeing the original three Star Wars movies, I went into seeing Rogue One without any spoilers or knowledge (besides what was in the trailers and the premise that it occurs during the time right before the third episode).

With that being said, there are SPOILERS ahead.

One thing is clear about Rogue One: it is a war movie. I watched it on December 15th, after spending several days reading and watching the horrors that were unfolding in Aleppo. As Jyn Erso and Cassian Andor dove in and out of the desert roadways destroyed and blown up by imperial forces in a city on the moon Jedha, all I could see were the images of Aleppo’s destruction superimposed over them. The scene where Jyn dives through a fire fight to rescue a small girl screaming and crying only reflects in  a small part the terror that orphans in Aleppo have experienced, with bombs going off all around them night and day, before finally being forced to abandon their home.

I almost walked out at that part, as those scenes, the wide pan shots stolen from Syria’s border-country Jordan in Wadi Rum, reminding me of my own time there in Wadi Rum and in the northern part of Jordan, peering over the Golan Heights to Syria, which, in 2014, was actually in better shape than it is now. I looked around, expecting to see other people bawling their eyes out, or eyes drawn in horrified recognition of the parallels this movie was drawing, but I saw nothing.

The reason why Rogue One is such a deviation from what Hollywood typically has to offer is it tells a story that rarely gets told. It tells a story that ends in death, and for the main characters, despair. Their only comfort comes in the knowledge that they had given their all for a chance, a sliver of a chance that their actions would lead to a slip in the Empire’s grip and that their rule would be abolished. Despair is quite a common theme in Hollywood, yes, but the overarching believe in the cause that Jyn and Cassian (and the rest of the cast) lived and died for give their deaths a significance and meaning for the audience, even if it doesn’t for the characters themselves.

They lived their lives in faith, acting upon a belief in their flawed cause, but [just like the matriarchs and patriarchs the author of Hebrews discusses in chapter 11] they died before seeing the fruits of their faith and action.

Rogue One is a good reminder to all that doing good when nobody sees it is not a waste; and to Christ-followers, it is an encouraging reminder that no good deed will go unpunished in this life, have an eternal reward for our actions that cannot be seen this side of heaven.

It tells a story of why, even when there is no benefit to us personally, and indeed great harm, we should persist in doing good even when we will not be praised, we will not be sung about or talked about in blogs or TV shows or books. Instead of pursuing the humanistic philosophy that “you should do what feels right,” it pursues a harder line of inquiry: “You should do what is right regardless of how it makes you feel.”

Rogue One was also a reminder that no matter how epic the space battles look, no matter how sweeping the vista or impressive the special effects, people are dying. People who may make a wrong choice on the “right” side of the war, or a right choice on the “wrong” side of the war.

Jyn Erso’s father, Galen, spends years laboring for the Empire simply because he knows that he is at the right place at the right time, and has a slim [but better than anyone else’s] chance of saving lives. But he gives up his life in the process, both the quality of his life and the existence of it. Despite his absence from Jyn’s life, and her consequential resentment of him, he is willing to make that sacrifice and accept the consequences of his choices– choices that to Jyn seem hard and unfeeling, but for Galen are the best way he can show his love for her and his dedication to fighting the corrupt Empire.

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story may not say this outright, but this message is woven into the fabric of the story:

Your quiet sacrifice and selfless deeds may never make it on the front cover of Times magazine, but there is a lasting impact to them. Rogue One shows that a life like that is worth living,  and worth dying for.

The stories most worth hearing are the ones never told.

 

Photos are all From Rogue One, copyright Lucasfilm and other what have yous. All rights reserved (to them).

 

 

Six Months later…

Well, it’s actually been closer to seven, but as they say, “time flies…”

It’s currently about 32 degrees outside, and the last bits of leaves are clinging to the trees with a tenacity I’ve not known outside of fit-throwing toddlers and oil stains. It snowed for the first time at the house I’m staying at just last Sunday, And it’s starting to feel strangely normal living here (instead of weirdly wonderful). I felt bad that I’ve not posted in so long, so please accept these pictures from various locations as a peace offering:

(All photos are NPS/Public domain, taken with a Nikon D5300 35-145mm lens.)

Above Left: bare branches with a few leaves near the Savage River Trail in Maryland. It was twilight with a lovely, eerie light.

Above Right: The Great Allegheny Passage bridge leading over the Youghiogheny [YAWK-ee-GAIN-ee] river last month in Ohiopyle, Pennsylvania. 

This is St. Peter’s Roman Catholic Church in Harper’s Ferry, WV. Located in the “V” of the Potomac and Shenandoah rivers, Harpers Ferry (yes, no apostrophe– it’s a weird thing that happens a lot when you have a lot of old names) is a great tourist and historical site. 

This photo (one of my favorites) I took at the Antietam Creek campsite along the Potomac River/ C&O Canal. Unfortunately it’s a wife shot and doesn’t completely fit in the above format, but no use crying, is it? 

I’ve been applying for jobs like mad, and have a few prospects, but the job market is tougher than steel-coated beef jerky. And yes, I’ve had a lot of caffeine. I love my current intern position– it’s a dream, but the pay will only support a very slim living. But still, I owe so much to this job, and I’ve been the happiest here as I have in a very long time. 

It’s good to know that God’s got my back, and has a plan. It’s all too easy to forget. 

Until later, when I can write a proper post– 

ما سلام!

My Favorite Things About Moving to Maryland So Far

Cows. Cows everywhere. Cows in fields, cows in barns. Cows sharing fields with sheep. Lots and lots of cows.

The rain. It rained this morning, it rained this afternoon. It was supposed to hail, but it did not.

Eateries that claim “Pizzeria and Tex Mex” as their concurrent food genres. That sounds interesting (and highly suspicious).

It is so, so green. I can only think of Rey, in the latet Star Wars movie, when she says, “I didn’t know there was this much green in the whole galaxy!”

 

Also, my housemates are pretty awesome and chill, and I live on the end of a long (paved), narrow road framed by trees drooping with vines. Did I mention how green it is??

The weather really isn’t so bad. It was great today (though with high humidity), and my room has a window AC unit, so I’m set at night.

Now… if we could only banish the stinkbugs, carpenter ants, earwigs, and spiders from the house, I’d be set.

Did I mention that I live in a house that was originally built in the 1840’s? Yeah, pretty cool. Except it has only one (unoriginal) bathroom, and the light switches are in random places. But it is a bona-fide old house, complete with creepy basement and attic and a servants’ stairway and a both-ways swinging door to the dining room. It’s so cool, and weird.

Tomorrow I start my actual job (eep!), and actually get to figure out what exactly I will be doing! Flexibility and fluidity have been really important, and thankfully I’ve accrued the ability to be so, but not having set plans or objectives really stresses me out.

Here are a couple other pictures. I hope all my peeps at home are doing well… I miss you guys already! ❤

The sunset tonight

Bunnies have much squarer noses here!

Felt (a poem)

I didn’t know

 Healing 

Meant acknowledging, 

Feeling.

I didn’t know

Healthy 

Meant painful;

Just now the stabbing isn’t 

Stealthy. 

She said,

“Feelings just want to be felt.”

I felt it, 

Over and over 

Like a spring-fed river 

I wondered where was the end

And more bafflingly, where the beginning

Was I a fool?

Of course.  

Was I misled?

No doubt. 

Was this love cruel? 

As a thumbscrew. 

With hope I fed 

This noisome Styx 

And drank from it till 

I felt sick. 

Christianity Is Not For the Anti-Intellectual Mind

 

[Originally posted at Naked Christian Blog]

A common complaint of atheists, agnostics, the secularly religious, and skeptics of Christianity in is that Christianity is not a religion that is particularly intellectual; that is, it is not intellectually rigorous, or defensible on a scientific and philosophical level.

Here are five common arguments or assertions that I’ve heard from atheist friends and skeptics personally:

 

• The Bible is unreliable and can’t be trusted as a historical document.
• There are no real, concrete methods to back up or conclusively prove the existence of a Judeo-Christian God.
• Any said attempts at explanations are intellectually vacuous– that is, they contain “trap doors,” or non-sequitur reasoning to try and explain why the theological explanations precariously hold together; not concretely laid, logically-sound syllogisms
• A large percentage of Christians reject evolution as the source of life on earth, which is ridiculous, because evolution is scientifically proven thought (people who believe that the earth was created in a short amount of time are akin to those who believe unicorns actually exist)
• The Christian views of morality are antiquated and (even worse), hurtful and hateful to minority groups such as (but not limited to) women, homosexuals, transgenders, etc., therefore Christianity is not a valid view or religion in our postmodern times.

I will be discussing these five points or arguments each on their own in my proceeding blogs, but first I wanted to tell you a bit more about myself and my background and why you should listen to what I have to say at all.

First of all: I did not get a degree in philosophy, from either a public or Christian university. I’ve merely spent a decent amount of time reading about whether Christianity (theism) is a valid philosophical viewpoint to hold as opposed to, say, pantheism or naturalism (atheism). The observations in my blogs are primarily based on the thoughts and reading I have done on these subjects. I love debating and discussing theology, philosophy and (to borrow the old definition) natural philosophy, but do not expect everything I say to be bulletproof; in fact, I welcome dissension and pointing out weaknesses in my arguments from all viewpoints; I only know what I know, and I can’t know more unless someone else shows something else to me.

That being said, I graduated from a public university a year and a half ago with a dual major of Linguistics and Creative Writing with a minor in Arabic. Even though all these areas of study are unswervingly focused on language, they gave me a a mere glimpse  into language, culture and ontology in different capacities and usages; and yet it was a glimpse that has only sparked my love for pursuit of more knowledge and experience in these areas. I spent a summer studying Arabic in Amman, Jordan, and that experience alone changed my life and broadened my perspective of the world, to say nothing of the other countless hours spent studying a variety of languages, literary theories, philosophies and authors whose own views were nothing like my own.

I say all this only to mean that if a white girl from an ultra-conservative Christian home can read and study literature as varied as Manuel Muñoz, Georgio Agamben, Karl Marx, Chuck Klosterman, Sandra Cisneros, Ibn Battuta, Noam Chomsky, etc., then maybe you could read a little bit from a conservative Christian girl even if you don’t necessarily share my perspectives on the issues at hand.

And who knows? Maybe a really cool discussion will come of it.

It is a sad regression in the twenty-first century to see people being able to discuss conflicting viewpoints and ideas without vitriol and respect for their peers become an impossibility. That being said, I am, in essence, a lay(wo)man, and most of what I say will be from a personally derived path of logic and experience implemented with writers’ and philosophers’ and scientists’ works.

When I first arrived at the public university I graduated from, I knew that I would be in the minority as far as staunch Christian faith. I had heard of how many young adults enter into the university atmosphere and walk away from their childhood faith. I accepted the possibility that the University might change my mind on a lot of things, but I walked into the classroom with the mentality that if I couldn’t hold on to my faith through the college experience, then my faith wasn’t one worth having.

I have an open relationship with God, and I have an agreement with him that (though this is laughable to me) should I ever find a worldview or religion or mindset that is more cohesive, logically sound, and supported by reality than what I currently believe, I will move my allegiance from the Christian God I serve to this new bastion of religionism/secularism/whateverism.

This may seem to border on the heretical to some Christians, but this mindset is built on the belief that the God I know and love made me with a mind that can and will analytically analyze the living daylights out of anything. And why, I wonder, would God create me that way if he didn’t expect me to use it in every area of my life? God created humans with great intellectual capacity, and I think he wants us to use it– for beneficial intellectual pursuits, that is. And besides, if my God who I believe in really is the God of the universe and who I think he is (and so much more than that), then he is strong enough and burly enough to take a little critical analysis.

It’s a part of who I am to adhere to the truth no matter what. In doing so, I honor God—even if the adherence to truth might hypothetically send me away from God… But seriously, not really.

My goal in writing this series of blogs is to show that Christianity (contrary to popular opinion) demands an intellectual relationship with God just as much an emotional and spiritual one. Christianity is a very intellectually satisfying religion and is not a bunch of contradictions. The intellectual rigor of Christianity is dependent on one thing: your willingness to learn and go deeper into the religion that is just as commonly associated with egg-laying bunnies as it is with ontology and the philosophical and scientific foundations of civilization as we know it.

If you are already a Christian, I hope that these blogs encourage you to grow in your faith in an intellectual manner.

One final thought:

“Faith” is often misinterpreted; to many, it means blindly believing in something without reason or recourse.

I don’t think this is the faith Christians are supposed to possess. In fact, if this is the only kind of faith you possess, you will not be a Christian for very long.

The faith that God wants and shows in his followers in the Bible is a belief based on the evidence seen before our eyes and a trust in our past experiences of God in order to stretch and grow our current faith.

If you’re interested in diving into some books on the questions above, check out these resources (many of which are by former atheists, I might add)

Cold-Case Christianity: A Homicide Detective Investigates the Claims of the Gospels

Mere Christianity: A look at the foundational philosophy for a Christian worldview

I Don’t Have Enough Faith To Be an Atheist

 

 

5 Positive Things About Tonight’s Republican Debate

I watched  tonight’s GOP Candidate debate– and while I enjoyed watching it and thought there were some (somewhat disparate) good points made, I thought that there were a few things that could have made it better. I was originally going  for 10 positive things, but I quickly realized that would take me  too long.

1. Trump makes everyone around him immediately become 150% more likable. Everyone is quite the convivial personality next to Trump. Shoot, you could put him next to Omar Al-Bashir, and it’d take the ICC a few seconds to decide who to slap handcuffs on first– because Trump is just that annoying and incendiary.

For that reason, I will not honor Trump with more than one positive point in my blog– though him getting booed repeatedly for his obscene comments certainly deserves commendation.

2. The two-hour debate went by far quicker than I anticipated. As I just recently was in the ER for a good 6 hours, I can safely say that the debate seemed to take only half the time I consumed waiting for a harried hospital doctor to see me.

In all seriousness, it was an interesting debate with a scattered performance across the board. I wished that it would have been focused on fewer aspects of policy– the way the topics jumped around, the candidates could do little more than give soundbites on their plans for presidency.

3. Ben Carson is a man of his word– i.e. not a politician. This is exemplified in his apparent inability to speak quickly enough in said soundbites to offer anything but broad statements and pleas to visit his website. I would have loved to see a stronger showing from him this evening, but it didn’t happen. However, I will say this– he didn’t rise to the bait from Trump (or any others), avoided any ad hominem derailings,  and stayed decidedly on-topic– but, again, regrettably spoke too slow to speak on much of anything.

4. There was a varied response on how to deal with the current Middle East crisis. Not only that, but there was no talk about placing wide-spread prohibitions of people groups being granted asylum in the US. This is a positive thing because the response needed to squelch ISIS and restore some sort of peace in the Middle East is going to need a very studied hand. There is no easy answer to the myriad problems that are running rampant and unfortunately US involvement is needed. Sitting this one out is not really an option, and while opinions varied on how to become involved, there was consensus that a more proactive approach is needed.

5. None of the Republican presidential candidates currently have an FBI investigation with 100+ agents involved centered around their illegal activities. That in and of itself I’m sorry to say gives us an edge. Democrats, please. I’m pretty ashamed to say that I belong to a country that lauds such politicians who forestall security and their country’s welfare for the personal “idylls” of convenience and arrogant indifference to the obligations of public office.  Hillary Clinton: you are a scoundrel– and a really bad liar. I wouldn’t vote for you if it were a toss-up between you and Donald Trump (and that’s saying something).

A Year of Failure: 5 Ways I failed in 2015

When I entered 2015, I knew it would be radically different than 2014. I wouldn’t be graduating with my Bachelors degree. I wouldn’t be spending my summer in Amman, Jordan, soaking up the culture and sun like a thirsty sponge. I wouldn’t be finishing a thesis, or finishing my essay to enter into the Persona.

2014 felt like a year of successes, and of reached goals; I thought that 2015 would look vastly different. It felt only appropriate to expect the opposite from 2015 that I had received from 2014: failures.

Failure is one of the most terrifying words for me. I don’t deal well with it, and I was scared of confronting it, and also excited because I knew I would grow from my further acquaintance with it.

See, I’m the kind of person who won’t do something if I know I’ll fail (with few exceptions). I’m the kind of person who lets fear of failure keep her from trying things, who keeps her fear of the unknown outcome closer to her heart than the fear of the missed opportunity.

I can safely say I failed a lot this year. Failed writing jobs, failed queries, failed friendships, failed relationships, failed attempts at half marathons, failed attempts at writing on a blog every week (ha!) and many, many failed attempts at trying to keep everything together.

In honor of the new year, I’ve decided to write about my favorite failures of the year.

1. I failed to sustain my misguided belief that I have to be perfect.

This one is the failure that I am probably most proud of, and has also been the most difficult failure to deal with. I went through some very dark weeks, fighting this false ideology at its core. I still struggle with perfectionism… a LOT. But, thanks to some special people (you know who you are; or maybe not), I have come to the realization that imperfection is… wonderful. freeing. exhilarating. And to be honest, I cringe a little speaking so highly of imperfection still. But perfection is a stingy, cold, unforgiving, merciless, unfeeling, vituperative master. But the God of Grace is kind, loving, forgiving, and loves even when we are nothing but a fetal ball of tears and mess-ups. Perfectionism still calls my name daily, but now… I’ve started to ignore its beckoning.

2. I failed in my attempts to keep God’s love at bay

Despite my best efforts. Folks, I am freer and more alive in Christ now than I have ever been. Let me tell you, that is super exciting stuff. God will only stay away if you force him to. If you open up your heart a crack– He will slip right in like afternoon sunlight and warm your soul from its gelid status.

3. I failed to become a freelance writer

This one hurts to say, partially because I tried very hard to become this, and partially because I don’t think I tried hard enough (again, because of fear). I did get a lot of writing done, however, but most of it will probably never see the light of day. Baby steps.

4. I failed in relationships.

But, at the same time, I’ve succeeded. Because even in failure you learn something. I’ve learned a lot about people. I’ve learned that sometimes people you love dearly will hurt you, and that people I love will be hurt by me. I learned quite a bit about myself,  and how things should and should not be. And that has been invaluable, albeit painful.  I also learned that puppies are always a good bet when you’re low on snuggles.

5. I failed to become completely free of shame and guilt.

This is a hard one to admit. While I’ve made much progress in personal development in 2015, I’m very much a work in progress still [I’m painfully conscious of this right at this moment). I’m starting to discover that whenever I think I can take a day off from everything– including passionately pursuing Christ– that’s when I start sliding back into the old patterns including dark clouds of shame and guilt and reliance on my own performance rather than God’s grace.

If there is one thing that God has been speaking to me in the last few months, it is that his strength is made great in our weaknesses. He has placed people in my path  when I am weakest to guide me along the way, and God has been present in my life, heart, and mind like never before. This is why I share these failures with you today; because I know God will use them better than any post I could write about how 2015 went well for me, or how I succeeded this year.

 

 

 

 

 

A New Year, a New Mind

This wasn’t the first post for 2016 that I was intending to put up; the other one is still in my drafts folder.

I just arrived home after a New Year’s spent visiting with family; on the way home, I finished Francis Chan’s book, Crazy Love.

Coming home, seeing our shriveled Christmas tree, realizing that I must go back to work and wait a whole year before Christmastime again… well, call me a kid but it made me really sad. I had such an amazing Christmas this year; if I were being honest, I’d say it was the best. And the thought of leaving that behind made me a little misty-eyed. I only get to see my whole family (siblings, niece, nephew, uncles, aunts,  cousins, grandma) together once a year (if I’m lucky), and I loved our time together. It is a huge delight to spend time with them and I feel so blessed and privileged to call them Family.

Me being sad about leaving my family time behind… actually makes me super happy. Because not everyone has family that they love to be around, or loves them. Not everybody has family, period. And that makes me very sad. Which is probably why I started bawling as  I thought of my own family.

It is so strange being so happy that something makes you so sad, but that was the state I found myself in.

It’s been a crazy past couple of days– okay, month– okay, semester– Alright. Year. [let’s be honest: I carry the crazy with me all throughout life.] But the last four months I can say have been some of the best and worst months of my life. They’ve been the best because the situations I’ve found myself in and my (lack of) health and various relationships have pushed me to pursue God and become closer to him more than ever before in my life, and the worst because a lot of those situations that brought said closeness with God have been downright hellish.

I’ve had to come to terms with some very unhealthy mental habits of mine, which have brought sickness and anxiety attacks and all sorts of issues to my life. I’ve had to be brutally honest with my family and my friends in ways I’ve never been before… brutally honest about how weak I really am and how much a struggle appearing normal is for me sometimes.

But tonight, I am happy. No, I am joyful. I am joyful like I have rarely experienced in large quantities before this past August. I am joyful because I can feel both my joy and sadness with an alacrity and sharpness that would have been dull and shriveled, even a year ago. There is a cloud that has been over my soul for years, one that has greyed even the most vibrant of colors in my life. This cloud has only begun to shift in the past year, and if the last few months are any indication, the stormy deluge it brings at its passing is fierce but it will only serve to wash away the grime that has encased my soul.

I am so, so grateful that God has finally gotten into my head the beauty of vulnerability. For so long I saw it as a sign of weakness; and it is.

It is in our weaknesses that Christ is strongest, and it is our weaknesses that he uses as an avenue for his glory. His ways are not our ways; his thoughts are not our thoughts.

I’ve experienced unfettered joy in the last two weeks like I haven’t… ever. I’ve been so happy, and enjoying time with my family and relaxation when considering all circumstances I shouldn’t be. I’m amazed at this gift of joy, and love, and family, that seems newly washed and beautiful and satisfying like never before. And my heart aches for those whose Christmas season has been the exact opposite of that.

Even though I am filled with trepidation for returning to work and the myriad uncertainties of the future, I also am so happy, and excited to see God work in ways I’ve never before seen in my life in 2016.

I pray he:

Clarifies my vision for how I can best serve him and bring glory to his name.

Keeps my mind in the present and my heart near his, so I can walk in his Grace daily and share it daily.

Shows me more of his beauty, both through his creation and his heart.

Gives me more of his courage, to do and say and be who he is and who he wants me to be.

Shows me how to love more fully, live more deeply, and walk more closely with him.

Shows me how to fail more gracefully, say no more often (and more tactfully), and how to manage my resources (both time, health, and money) more in alignment with his laws.

 

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An Old Poem

So much concrete.

Dust fill my eyes,

My eyes are hardened.

So much glass.

Shards fill my heart,

My heart is sharpened.

So much wood

Grows over my jaw,

My mouth is shuttered.

So much;

Yet from which comes so little.

11-19-2012